What a mixed bag of emotions today!

I am ecstatic that Rich and I celebrated 18 years of a great marriage yesterday! Woo Hoo!

At the same time, I am stressed out with our current situation we are in - the life of not knowing what is coming next. We know Rich could be moved to Director of his own store ANY DAY and the thought of relocating is exciting, yet completely stressful at the same time. We need the money of him being promoted to Director, either that or I need to finish my child care licensing and bring in another child or two (on top of "K" who I watch for a friend 3 days a week). I don't think I can find a job that will pay for child care plus the extra we need. *Sigh* Plus, I really do love being home with my babies - most of the time ;-) .

Every time I pick up my child care licensing paperwork, or look in the help wanted ads, something happens with Rich's job that makes me stop....and wait.

Just last week, I completed that last page of paperwork and was ready to write an $80 check for my child care license and Rich comes home and says he has an important meeting he has to go to on Tuesday (tomorrow) in the bay area and he believes he will be told what store they are going to relocate him too. Well, I didn't really have the extra $80 right now anyways, so....I wait again!


I have been thinking a lot about my children's birth family. My kids are my life and they mean so much to me. I believe that their birth mom feels the same way about my kids as I do and I can't imagine (and never will imagine, I am sure) the pain they feel not being around their children. Must be a mixed bag of emotions for them. *notice the tie-in with my title* I know they chose for their children to have a better life in America. I know they love and care for their child, but know they don't have the resources and/or support to care for them by themselves.

There is a file at the hogar that is there specifically for birth families to come as they want, when they want, to see the files. Adoptive families are encouraged to send updates to the file for the birth families to view. Several times a year, I send updates and photos along with information on how to contact us and the intent we have at wanting contact with them. I am so hoping to get a call or letter someday saying that they too want contact. I have "some" information that I may be able to use to find them, however, I don't want to do that "yet". I have been told, as are most people to adopt from Guatemala, that most birth families do not want contact based on fear that their family member may retaliate or that harm may come to them. So, for the time being, I am going to hold on to the hope that one of them contacts me first to let me know that they too want contact and during that time, continue to send updates and photos to the file so that if their birth families can have that information.

Finally, my gripe for the day. You didn't think I would blog a full day without a gripe, did you? Well, here it goes...

Why do people get upset at you when they are the one's that choose to not follow the rules and do what is right? I mean, HELLO????